Post by Admin on Jul 27, 2022 1:36:01 GMT
Our blank black screen comes to life with a flashback moment to the old Corolco theme music as the image of the line tracing into a ‘C” but becomes ATB Entertainment underneath. In a shot of Truth or Consequences, New Mexico, the Interstate shows cars driving in gridlock with suspenseful music playing as we flash through the city on an island from the said highway to suburban areas, school yards, and a couple kids who resemble Lord Allton and Lil’ Mikey Zybala swinging on a swing-set as the screen goes blinding. The sounds of screams in the background and we are greeted to a nuclear wasteland. Cars, burnt to a crisp, buildings half standing (some not at all), skulls and bones littering the ground. A voiceover graces our ears, and the sound of Meghan Strader’s voice feels our ears.
Our screen fills with fire as the classic Tamikanator music starts to play with the logo hitting the screen.
July 28th, 2022
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Our scene is an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. A truck stop and 67 Fuel Station with a Taco Bell (McDonald’s wanted too much money), and garbage blows across the cracked and weathered tarmac. We move inside the cheap and least Mexican-like fast-food chain moving toward the bathroom. TAMIKA STRADER sits upon the porcelain throne, possibly taking a shit, door wide open when the lights flicker.
“Oiy, better get me knickers up!” she says excitedly in a British accent.
Out in the middle of the dining room, a giant orb has appeared and has exaggerated itself in size as a small sonic boom goes off that surely deafens anyone within 20 feet. The orb disappears, leaving a crater on the floor. As the smoke clears, the original classic model TS-69 machine stands from a kneeling-like position and scans the dining room. Turning her head, her emerald green eyes follow, totally nude. Still, it’s kept classy by her long hair covering the sensitive bits. The cybernetic organism sees a group of cosplayers in “Valerian and the City of a 1000 Planets” outfits.
“You, with the face. I need your clothes, your boots and… what do you drive?”
The nervous young lady in the LAURELINE cosplay answers, stuttering the whole time.
“Ummm, li-li-like driving is bad for th-th-the en-en-en—”
Tamikanator holds up her hand to shut the hell up and requests her Laureline cosplay outfit again. Meanwhile, back in the bathroom, the human Tamika is washing her hands, singing a song to time herself for proper cleanliness.
“I came into this world as a muppet, look into these eyes, and you will see they are googly!” Giggling to herself as she makes googly eyes, she is caught off guard as the main door of the lavatory goes flying across the screen. It’s THE LOU-1000 with his old ass head that has the crab-catching mustache but an oddly young and fit body (hard to miss as he is wearing those black and hot pink spandex bicycle shorts from the 1980s). He adjusts his purposely tattered tank top and, of course, the Aquafresh toothpaste pattern and coloured sweatband upon his brow.
“Target acquired: Yenno, one stupid Canadian!”
“Oh shite, this is quite the pickle, innit?”
“GET DOWN!”
Tamika hears the words and drops instantly as a loud bang could be heard. When the smoke clears somewhat, Tamika looks up to see herself staring back through a large hole that looks like blown apart wet steel.
“Laureline?!”
“No… I am a Tamikanator. Consider my offer to travel together if you wish to continue living.”
The Lou-1000s mimetic-poly-alloy begins to shift back together from the blast of the Taco Bell community employee anti-robbery shotgun. Tamika slinks past it, and the Tamikanator leads the way.
“Let’s go; we only have fifteen minutes left to tell a two-and-a-half-hour movie!”
“Are you from the future?”
“Affirmative. Right now, we need to get you somewhere safe until ToQ!”
Tamika’s signature green takes over the screen as we assume The Tamikanator’s POV. It scans the parking lot when it spots the old Freightliner, a blue and white cabover that had been put there for their escape. By who? Who knows, blame OCW 24/7 Continuity issues created by Zybala and Lord Allton.
“The Lorry?”
Tamikanator looks at her, grabs her hand, and they run towards the truck. Once inside, Tamikanator holds its index finger up as a thin, sharp drill-like bit comes out of the tip.
“Oiy, you mimetic-poly-alloy too?”
“Affirmative.”
“Who was that bloke? He looked like that bloody wanker, Lou Pohl.”
“Well, technically… it is.”
Aiming for the computer in the dash, she goes to drill to establish a connection when the keys fall in its lap from Tamika checking the sun visor. The big truck rumbles to life and heads onto the New Mexico highway. Tamika leans over to the top of the cab turning on the radio, before looking at the machine that looks identical to her.
“So, who are you, mate?”
“Strader Inc’s Tamikanator TS-69 sent from the future to protect you.”
“Ok, but like… why?”
The Tamikanator scans the highway for any threats before it answers.
“Truth or Consequences, July 31st, 2022 Crash Rodriguez, with the aid of Lou Pohl, takes the OCW Craze Championship from you, unleashing a future of death and pain for all humankind.”
Tamika sits back in her seat as the Tamikanator continues.
“When Crash beat you, it gave Lou Pohl the power and sway to start Louberdyne Systems up, transferring his consciousness into the powerful AI software so he could launch the nukes at specific targets worldwide. Specifically, North Korea, where it turns out, their missiles could fly further than fifty yards.”
“Bro, it’s a trip speaking of things in the past tense that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s a bit dodgy!”
“Perhaps. However, in the midst of this nuclear war, Strader Inc. survived by going underground and designing a machine to combat the Crashbots that were unleashed to enslave the human race. Designed in their creator's image, Tamika Anne Strader… The Tamikanator.”
“So if Crash wins, why are you here?”
It looks over at the Craze Champion (for now) and back to the road. It opens its mouth, and a sound recording of herself emerges.
“Meeka, if you are listening to this, it means the Tamikanator has found you first and prevented the Lou-1000 and Crashbot from finding you and making their transition to world dominance easier. The future is dire. What we have learned is that the future is not set. There is no fate, but we make for ourselves, and it’s time we make that change. Come Truth or Consequences on July 31st, 2022, you will need to pull everything you know, put it on the line and beat Crash Rodriguez. Your destination is set. Your protector will take you to Space Port USA, where I have dispatched a crew of Resistance Fighters where we will lure- - -”
CRUNCH!!!!!
Before the voice recording can finish, the Lou-1000 is on its tail in a Tri-Axle 379 Peterbilt Diesel truck. It smashes into the passenger side, damaging one of the eight tires of the cabover Frieghtliner causing it to veer into the third lane, narrowly avoiding a collision with a van full of Nuns who were singing and playing the guitar to Running With The Devil as sparks shoot up from asphalt up into the night sky.
“Take the wheel.”
“I have never driven a lorry before!”
The Tamikanator looks at her and smirks.
“I’ll return.”
Tamika slides over into the driver's seat. At the same time, her mechanical saviour climbs around the side of the truck, pulling herself onto the roof. We are treated with a heroic shot of the TS-69 kneeled looking down at the enemies in their truck before looking ahead, squinting its eyes at the headlights coming from ahead. In its signature green vision, it enlarges a highway sign within her view showing the Spaceport is close.
Meanwhile, back inside the truck, Tamika has both hands on the big wheel and forearms and has found a mesh-backed trucker hat that she is opting to wear. She looks to her left as she can see the Lou-1000 and Crashbot. The Lou-1000 raises its left arm, pointing at her as it turns into something stabby when the Tamikanator jumps down in front, landing on the long-nosed hood like a superhero. Pulling out two KG-9s, she begins to unload their chambers into the evil cybernetic machines.
RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA
Tamikanator looks over at Tamika and yells as the trucks approach the Exit for the Spaceport.
“SPACEPORT! GET THEM IN THE ORB!”
Not waiting to see if Tamika understood, she reaches in, locking her arm on the steering wheel as the Lou-1000 and Crashbot begin attacking her, causing real damage. Tamika turns to the right as hard as she can, forcing the trucks down the exit. Hitting a large pothole, the back tire that was damaged sinks down, catching and pulling it off, causing the tire beside to spring off, catching on a valve on the back of the tanker. It sends out bursts of flames from the sparks of grinding steel and metal.
“There’s the bloody Spaceport!”
Tamika looks over to the other truck, where the Tamikanator is fighting off the two machines while holding control of the truck’s destination. Tamika hits the brakes hard and fast. Tamikanator cranks the wheel to its left as Tamika shifts gears to gain speed and smash up against the centre of the 379 Peterbilt. T-boning it towards the Spaceport, Tamika sees an orb the size of the Michelin Man statue in Michigan, and it’s openly showing a war-torn future with lasers flying off everywhere.
The Tamikanator leaps onto the cabover and flips with a twist, landing on the pavement, grabbing hold of the ass-end of the truck's frame and digging her heels into the pavement. It tares up, causing chunks of tarmac and asphalt to go flying. Tamika grabs a KG-9 the T-69 threw through the windshield before flying over, fires into the tanker and watches it explode.
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fiery faces of the Lou-1000 and Crashbot twist through in the air of the fiery Peterbilt as it heads into the orb and closes off. She watches the orb pull all the damage around it. She gets out of the truck and runs around the side to see a pretty fucked up Tamikanator walking around to meet her.
“The Lou-1000 and Crashbot have been Tamikinated.”
“That was pretty nutty!”
“Yes, it was.”
Tamika looks up to see an older version of herself in military garb.
“Let me guess… you are me? From the future?”
“Tamika Anne Strader, meet General Strader.”
“You did exactly how I thought you would. I had to make sure Louberdyne machines made it back into the future; any piece of them left, win or lose, our future was over. Now, I must take The Tamikanator back as well.”
Tamika’s eyes go wide and teary as she looks at the machine. Its endoskeleton hand finds its way to her shoulder.
“I now know why you shit with the door open, but it’s something I could never do.”
Regular Tamika embraces the ravaged machine and lets go after a few seconds to stand and salute General Strader.
“I will defeat Crash Rodriguez again, preventing Lou from gaining the capital to start Louberdyne Systems and the Nuclear Fire.”
“God forgives, Meeks.”
“Straders Don’t.”
The T-69 limps forward as General Strader pulls a remote out of her pocket, clicking a red button and a small orb opens up. After they walk through, Tamika looks around at the venue for Truth or Consequences and sneers her family’s signature trait.
“Crash, on Sudnay, I am going to show you why I am the greatest Craze champion of the past, present, and future. The fate of mankind depends on it. It’s going to be the end of it all, innit?”
End Credits.
“On July 31st, 2022, 88 Billion human lives were lost; the survivors of the nuclear fire called the war “LouNet’s Judgement Day,” and the survivors were to face a new nightmare: the war between the Tamikanators built in the image of the Resistance leader, Tamika Strader and the once man turned AI, LouNet, with his machines, the Crashbots. The Resistance, which controlled the “shits with the door open” machines, had sent a Tamikanator back through time; to kill the future AI, LouNet, as a young mustache before he could corrupt poor Crash Rodriguez. The Tamikanator was sent back before Lou was born to stop his mother (possibly Melinda Rhodes) from having Lou and creating the warmonger AI. It failed. LouNet also tried this tactic by sending A Crashbot to kill Tamika Strader’s mother, which also failed. LouNet, however, was able to steal designs for the new Tamikanator model, the Teebag-1000, and has sent a machine to kill Tamika before OCWs Pay Per View, Truth or Consequences. Her reign as OCWs Craze Champion brought stability to the world as the company’s longest reigning champion. It was all in jeopardy now… BUT the resistance was able to send a lone warrior, a protector for Tamika. It was just a question of who would reach her first.”
Our screen fills with fire as the classic Tamikanator music starts to play with the logo hitting the screen.
July 28th, 2022
Truth or Consequences, New Mexico
Our scene is an empty parking lot in the middle of the night. A truck stop and 67 Fuel Station with a Taco Bell (McDonald’s wanted too much money), and garbage blows across the cracked and weathered tarmac. We move inside the cheap and least Mexican-like fast-food chain moving toward the bathroom. TAMIKA STRADER sits upon the porcelain throne, possibly taking a shit, door wide open when the lights flicker.
“Oiy, better get me knickers up!” she says excitedly in a British accent.
Out in the middle of the dining room, a giant orb has appeared and has exaggerated itself in size as a small sonic boom goes off that surely deafens anyone within 20 feet. The orb disappears, leaving a crater on the floor. As the smoke clears, the original classic model TS-69 machine stands from a kneeling-like position and scans the dining room. Turning her head, her emerald green eyes follow, totally nude. Still, it’s kept classy by her long hair covering the sensitive bits. The cybernetic organism sees a group of cosplayers in “Valerian and the City of a 1000 Planets” outfits.
“You, with the face. I need your clothes, your boots and… what do you drive?”
The nervous young lady in the LAURELINE cosplay answers, stuttering the whole time.
“Ummm, li-li-like driving is bad for th-th-the en-en-en—”
Tamikanator holds up her hand to shut the hell up and requests her Laureline cosplay outfit again. Meanwhile, back in the bathroom, the human Tamika is washing her hands, singing a song to time herself for proper cleanliness.
“I came into this world as a muppet, look into these eyes, and you will see they are googly!” Giggling to herself as she makes googly eyes, she is caught off guard as the main door of the lavatory goes flying across the screen. It’s THE LOU-1000 with his old ass head that has the crab-catching mustache but an oddly young and fit body (hard to miss as he is wearing those black and hot pink spandex bicycle shorts from the 1980s). He adjusts his purposely tattered tank top and, of course, the Aquafresh toothpaste pattern and coloured sweatband upon his brow.
“Target acquired: Yenno, one stupid Canadian!”
“Oh shite, this is quite the pickle, innit?”
“GET DOWN!”
Tamika hears the words and drops instantly as a loud bang could be heard. When the smoke clears somewhat, Tamika looks up to see herself staring back through a large hole that looks like blown apart wet steel.
“Laureline?!”
“No… I am a Tamikanator. Consider my offer to travel together if you wish to continue living.”
The Lou-1000s mimetic-poly-alloy begins to shift back together from the blast of the Taco Bell community employee anti-robbery shotgun. Tamika slinks past it, and the Tamikanator leads the way.
“Let’s go; we only have fifteen minutes left to tell a two-and-a-half-hour movie!”
“Are you from the future?”
“Affirmative. Right now, we need to get you somewhere safe until ToQ!”
Tamika’s signature green takes over the screen as we assume The Tamikanator’s POV. It scans the parking lot when it spots the old Freightliner, a blue and white cabover that had been put there for their escape. By who? Who knows, blame OCW 24/7 Continuity issues created by Zybala and Lord Allton.
“The Lorry?”
Tamikanator looks at her, grabs her hand, and they run towards the truck. Once inside, Tamikanator holds its index finger up as a thin, sharp drill-like bit comes out of the tip.
“Oiy, you mimetic-poly-alloy too?”
“Affirmative.”
“Who was that bloke? He looked like that bloody wanker, Lou Pohl.”
“Well, technically… it is.”
Aiming for the computer in the dash, she goes to drill to establish a connection when the keys fall in its lap from Tamika checking the sun visor. The big truck rumbles to life and heads onto the New Mexico highway. Tamika leans over to the top of the cab turning on the radio, before looking at the machine that looks identical to her.
“So, who are you, mate?”
“Strader Inc’s Tamikanator TS-69 sent from the future to protect you.”
“Ok, but like… why?”
The Tamikanator scans the highway for any threats before it answers.
“Truth or Consequences, July 31st, 2022 Crash Rodriguez, with the aid of Lou Pohl, takes the OCW Craze Championship from you, unleashing a future of death and pain for all humankind.”
Tamika sits back in her seat as the Tamikanator continues.
“When Crash beat you, it gave Lou Pohl the power and sway to start Louberdyne Systems up, transferring his consciousness into the powerful AI software so he could launch the nukes at specific targets worldwide. Specifically, North Korea, where it turns out, their missiles could fly further than fifty yards.”
“Bro, it’s a trip speaking of things in the past tense that hasn’t even happened yet. It’s a bit dodgy!”
“Perhaps. However, in the midst of this nuclear war, Strader Inc. survived by going underground and designing a machine to combat the Crashbots that were unleashed to enslave the human race. Designed in their creator's image, Tamika Anne Strader… The Tamikanator.”
“So if Crash wins, why are you here?”
It looks over at the Craze Champion (for now) and back to the road. It opens its mouth, and a sound recording of herself emerges.
“Meeka, if you are listening to this, it means the Tamikanator has found you first and prevented the Lou-1000 and Crashbot from finding you and making their transition to world dominance easier. The future is dire. What we have learned is that the future is not set. There is no fate, but we make for ourselves, and it’s time we make that change. Come Truth or Consequences on July 31st, 2022, you will need to pull everything you know, put it on the line and beat Crash Rodriguez. Your destination is set. Your protector will take you to Space Port USA, where I have dispatched a crew of Resistance Fighters where we will lure- - -”
CRUNCH!!!!!
Before the voice recording can finish, the Lou-1000 is on its tail in a Tri-Axle 379 Peterbilt Diesel truck. It smashes into the passenger side, damaging one of the eight tires of the cabover Frieghtliner causing it to veer into the third lane, narrowly avoiding a collision with a van full of Nuns who were singing and playing the guitar to Running With The Devil as sparks shoot up from asphalt up into the night sky.
“Take the wheel.”
“I have never driven a lorry before!”
The Tamikanator looks at her and smirks.
“I’ll return.”
Tamika slides over into the driver's seat. At the same time, her mechanical saviour climbs around the side of the truck, pulling herself onto the roof. We are treated with a heroic shot of the TS-69 kneeled looking down at the enemies in their truck before looking ahead, squinting its eyes at the headlights coming from ahead. In its signature green vision, it enlarges a highway sign within her view showing the Spaceport is close.
Meanwhile, back inside the truck, Tamika has both hands on the big wheel and forearms and has found a mesh-backed trucker hat that she is opting to wear. She looks to her left as she can see the Lou-1000 and Crashbot. The Lou-1000 raises its left arm, pointing at her as it turns into something stabby when the Tamikanator jumps down in front, landing on the long-nosed hood like a superhero. Pulling out two KG-9s, she begins to unload their chambers into the evil cybernetic machines.
RATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATATA
Tamikanator looks over at Tamika and yells as the trucks approach the Exit for the Spaceport.
“SPACEPORT! GET THEM IN THE ORB!”
Not waiting to see if Tamika understood, she reaches in, locking her arm on the steering wheel as the Lou-1000 and Crashbot begin attacking her, causing real damage. Tamika turns to the right as hard as she can, forcing the trucks down the exit. Hitting a large pothole, the back tire that was damaged sinks down, catching and pulling it off, causing the tire beside to spring off, catching on a valve on the back of the tanker. It sends out bursts of flames from the sparks of grinding steel and metal.
“There’s the bloody Spaceport!”
Tamika looks over to the other truck, where the Tamikanator is fighting off the two machines while holding control of the truck’s destination. Tamika hits the brakes hard and fast. Tamikanator cranks the wheel to its left as Tamika shifts gears to gain speed and smash up against the centre of the 379 Peterbilt. T-boning it towards the Spaceport, Tamika sees an orb the size of the Michelin Man statue in Michigan, and it’s openly showing a war-torn future with lasers flying off everywhere.
The Tamikanator leaps onto the cabover and flips with a twist, landing on the pavement, grabbing hold of the ass-end of the truck's frame and digging her heels into the pavement. It tares up, causing chunks of tarmac and asphalt to go flying. Tamika grabs a KG-9 the T-69 threw through the windshield before flying over, fires into the tanker and watches it explode.
KABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The fiery faces of the Lou-1000 and Crashbot twist through in the air of the fiery Peterbilt as it heads into the orb and closes off. She watches the orb pull all the damage around it. She gets out of the truck and runs around the side to see a pretty fucked up Tamikanator walking around to meet her.
“The Lou-1000 and Crashbot have been Tamikinated.”
“That was pretty nutty!”
“Yes, it was.”
Tamika looks up to see an older version of herself in military garb.
“Let me guess… you are me? From the future?”
“Tamika Anne Strader, meet General Strader.”
“You did exactly how I thought you would. I had to make sure Louberdyne machines made it back into the future; any piece of them left, win or lose, our future was over. Now, I must take The Tamikanator back as well.”
Tamika’s eyes go wide and teary as she looks at the machine. Its endoskeleton hand finds its way to her shoulder.
“I now know why you shit with the door open, but it’s something I could never do.”
Regular Tamika embraces the ravaged machine and lets go after a few seconds to stand and salute General Strader.
“I will defeat Crash Rodriguez again, preventing Lou from gaining the capital to start Louberdyne Systems and the Nuclear Fire.”
“God forgives, Meeks.”
“Straders Don’t.”
The T-69 limps forward as General Strader pulls a remote out of her pocket, clicking a red button and a small orb opens up. After they walk through, Tamika looks around at the venue for Truth or Consequences and sneers her family’s signature trait.
“Crash, on Sudnay, I am going to show you why I am the greatest Craze champion of the past, present, and future. The fate of mankind depends on it. It’s going to be the end of it all, innit?”
End Credits.
